Thinking about them.

Miss Sarah


TMH

JaMina

(mj)

I think I spend 75% of my time missing people. Over the past couple years the fact that I have amazing people in my life has become very apparent to me. And then the fact that most of these people are hundreds of miles away from me makes me feel.... cut off. I know that this move will hopefully bring me closer to some of my special people, but it will also take me away from special people.

The beauty of theatre is making friends all over the country, and the down fall of theatre is, making friends all over the country. You become very good at making fr

iends and you

become very good at saying goodbye to them and trying to maintain friendships over hundreds of miles.

I KNOW how lucky I am to have such special people in my life, but I also know how far away I am from them most of the time. Why can't we all live in one city? In the same building? That would be amazing!

I ADORE my friends. I ADORE the people that are in my life! I just MISS them. Sometimes so much it hurts. It's hard to always look on the bright side when the only way you interact with your special people is through faceboo

k, texts, phone calls, and skype.

Once again, PLEASE INVENT TELEPORTATION! The world is ready.

Molz

Erin and CAROL

PHILLIES!!!!

Here is a picture of my baseball boyfriend, Raul Ibanez. I love his batting stance... it is so wonderfully awkward.

I am in love with the Phillies. I love MLB. I love going to games. I love knowing the players names. I love knowing who is good and who is sucking. And I love the Philly Colors... so classic.

I would not have thought that I would become a baseball lovin girl, but I AM!

We are making this weekend FULL A PHILLIES! So needless to say I am SUPER pumped to head back to Citizens Bank Park!

LET'S GO PHILLIES!

so it begins...

25 days.

25 days till I am done at Gamut.
25 days till I am unemployed
25 days till I can officially start freaking out.

Ok here is what I have learned about myself through this whole moving, job search, life changing process. I am TOTALLY right brained. But I LONG to be left brained. I long to be better organized. I long to put things away where they belong, I long to have the fore thought that the left brainers do. But I am NOT left brained. I think I only have one side, and it is the right side. The left side it just there to keep my head balanced on my neck. So in my longing to be a lefter I freak myself out and I forget that I need to go with the flow and I forget that I work better under pressure and I deal with pressure well. I forget that when things are too neat and tidy I feel smothered and bored. Why do I want to be something I am not? It is only causing me pain and anxiety.

So here I am 25 days away from a MAJOR change in my life and my right side is sayin BRING IT ON! But the left side that won't go away is saying PLAN, FREAK OUT, ORGANIZE, MAP OUT YOUR LIFE!

Shut up Lefty.

Shut up.

So, what is a right brained girl to do? Right now, I am eating carrots and hoping the crunch will take out some anxiety.

Also, as much as I want to move to the Minni-Apple, it may not happen.... the midwest move will happen, but it may not be Minneapolis. Which is yet another topic for my crazy brain to dwell on.

Glee

So, a lot around me is changing and swirling and... well... changing. I know that the last post was about Lost, and this one will be about Glee. Like I said, I am an emotional creature.

The last 2 weeks of Glee they have explored the relationship of Rachel, Lea Michele and her biological mother, whom we now know is Shelby, Idina Menzel. Last week we saw that Shelby was looking for Rachel and slipped a tape of her singing I Dreamed A Dream into Rachel's baby stuff and now this week, they met, and also decided it was too hard to be together, so they will think of each other fondly from a far.

I am not going to get into the story, because frankly it is WAY to close to home. But I will say that my adoption story has been pretty well played out on Fox for the last 2 weeks. It has been hard, and enlightening to watch but it has given me a sense of "normalcy". There is so much of our story in that story line, there is so much they said that I wish I could have said. There are so many moments that I wish I had. The simple act of singing together, shared dream. So if you watch this show and think... how far FETCHED! Two actresses separated by one degree coming together in drama and talent, singing Les Mis, longing for things that are no longer graspable. Yeah, it happens. It's happening. And it hurts, every, single, day.

So if I were to give one person a hug right now, it would be her, then it would be Glee's creator Ryan Murphy.

I am an emotional creature...

I am aware that getting emotionally attached to a television show sounds pretty insane, but I do it. And so do millions of others. On Thursday I bawled like a BABY at the Grey's season finale and tonight I expect to jump out of my seat at the Lost series finale.

I become attached to the characters, I become addicted to the story, and I admire the acting. So yes, I will take any smack ya have to give me. But for the next 4 hours of my life I will be sitting on the edge of this sofa and I expect to gasp at least 15 times and say OH MY GOD at least 20 and cry at least once.

It's the end of an era..... and yeah, it kind of makes me sad. That does not make me less of a person, it just makes me emotionally involved.

SO SUE ME!

Jellicle Cats...

Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle cats sing Jellicle chants
Jellicles old and Jellicles new
Jellicle song and Jellicle dance

Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats

Practical cats, dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats
Oratorical cats, delphioracle cats
Skeptical cats, dispeptical cats
Romantical cats, pedantical cats
Critical cats, parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
Statistical cats and mystical cats
Political cats, hypocritical cats
Clerical cats, hysterical cats
Cynical cats, rabbinical cats

So as the cat mom of 2 cats, I have learned a lot. First, not two cats are the same. Second, not all cats get along. Growing up we always had cats, we put the cats together and then eventually they ended up getting along. Even Jax, the cat Abby and I got for our mom. He was an only cat for YEARS and then I decided to get a kitten when I was in an apartment that didn't allow it, thus I had to give the cat to my mom and it was then that Jax got a friend. They were enemies for 3 days, and now they clean each other and wait for the other one to get fed so they can eat together. So I blame my history when I assumed that if you took things slow enough you could make any two cats get along. Well THESE two cats are very very different.

We took our time, we read up on HOW to get cats to like each other... we did it all by the book. They spatted a little, but not too bad. Then about 4 months ago Dakota started peeing everywhere except the litter box. We were told it was bladder crystals. Well either we were lied to or it cleared up. She no longer has crystals. But now what she DOES have is behavioral issues. Her and the other cat are NOT buddies and that lack of friendship is now causing her to spray (yea, females cats do it too WHO KNEW!!). So now, we have to keep them separated, in a one bedroom apartment. Dakota has the living room, Kory has the bedroom. And we have to spray the areas she HAS peed in with an enzyme spray and claming spray.

AND, just to make sure I am a TRUE crazy cat lady, we got Dakota a leash and harness so she can go outside and roll around in the grass and get in touch with her wild side. I guess the outdoors calms cats. sheesh.

AND we can't yell at her or scold her because that just makes her more nervous.

UGGGGGGGG!!!!! ARRRRRRGGGGG!!!!

She is a very cute cat who loves everyone, WHY is she messed up in the head?!?!

it's going to be a long time till I am willing to have a human child. This is crazy. Cats are supposed to be easy.

Death and Taxes

2 things in my life this week. Death and Taxes. AWESOME. I got a peach slip in my mailbox saying I missed the delivery of a certified letter that I HAVE to sign for from CTCB. What or WHO is CTCB? Well thank you google. CTCB is Capitol Tax Collection Bureau. AWESOME! Soooo I paid my taxes, no worries, but when I comes to PA local, state taxes... I suck! I paid the state one... like $140.00. But there are these local ones that I guess you needed to search out and then give money to? Like a school tax? Well I paid a 2008 school tax, the FULL amount when I wasn't even here 6 months. Then like 3 months after paying the 2008, the 2009 came, well then it came again, yeeeeeeeah didn't pay it. I THOUGHT I did like a few months ago, but some research shows I did not. AWESOME. So I am sure they are OUT TO GET ME and make me fork over like $200.00. I AM POOR! Gah. It's just that anything to do with taxes, especially with these new tax commercials... saying WE WILL GET YOU NON TAX PAYERS... I get scared. Who can comfort me? Mike is telling me they can't arrest me.... yet. wow, thanks babe. So tomorrow I will pick up this stupid letter and then figure it out. I may have to sell a kidney. Is anyone in the market for a kidney? Or does anyone know of a fund for mindless, penniless actors who forgot to pay a school tax (which PS is stupid... the HBG school system SUCKS! and I got INTO these stupid schools and perform for these stupid kids, how are they going to benefit from my $200.00?!)

ok enough venting. I know I have to pay it. Death and taxes. Thank you God.

May sucks.