Last week I decided to make a huge change in my life that has been a long time coming. I decided to join weight watchers. This is not something I am totally ok announcing to everyone because I feel as if it is admitting a failure. Up until now I have failed to keep myself healthy I have failed to control food and I have failed to help myself. It took me a LONG time to get to be ok with who I am and how I look. And I believe I am truly ok with myself, and thus I feel like this is the perfect time to do it. I am doin this more me, and no one else. I can't quit this, I can't stop this I can;t give up. I want to get to my goal weight for so many reasons and none of them are to be more liked. I don't want people to think I am doing this because I don't like myself. That is not it, I want to be a healthy version of me. I want to lose about 100 pounds. I know this is not going to come easy and I know this is going to take time, and I am ok with that. I just know that a year from now I want to be a TOTALLY lighter version of myself.
I am lucky because Mike is in it with me and he is totally on the boat of let's eat better.
I guess I am just really scared of failure and I am scared of self control, which I have very little of. I need to think about this as a lifestyle change. I realize that I am not one of those women who can eat anything they like and still look the same, I hate it, but I'm not.
So needless to say I am like to start a lot of journeys at once..... I like to multi task.
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